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Sleep tight! Don’t let the derealization bite!
Photo Credit: Pixabay
- “We can pretend you don’t know I’m here, but deep down, you can’t shake this feeling that something’s a little ‘off’.”
2. “I have a way of getting ‘under your skin’, ya might say.”
3. “When you tell people about me they’re going to make weird faces. They try to be discreet, but it’s involuntary.”
4. “I think your neighbours are mad at you.”
5. “It wasn’t your fault but it is your responsibility.”
6. “The internet says you can overcome me in a matter of months!? With professionals? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH I AM YOUR LIFE NOW! ADAPT OR DIE!”
7. “Shhhh I’m hiding.”
8. “If the world ever needed an army to defend the planet against aliens, it should be composed of everyone who has faced the wrath of me and survived. Y’all have nothing to prove anymore.”
9. “One day, you’ll grow to appreciate the role I’ve played in your life. JK JK JK JK I’m the worst.”
10. “What’s “emotional regulation”? I’ve never seen that. It’s definitely not something you do.”
11. “Your fiancé left? Sounds valid.”
12. “My proficiencies include:
- Occupying inaccessible spaces
- Destroying your window of tolerance and keeping you in a holding pattern of mental breakdowns
- Sneakin’ around”
13. “Are you trying to sleep? That’s cute. I’m gonna eat you.”
14. “I am very, very sensitive. Like, hot temperatures? Ouchy!”
15. “It’s important that you’re gentle because I have a super-fragile exo-skeleton.”
16. “I’ve never been one for sustained subtlety, once named.”
17. “I know I carry a lot of misguided stigma, but if you do just a little bit of inquiry, you’ll find there are SO MANY MORE OF ME THAN YOU KNOW.”
18. “Betcha can’t find my harbourage.”
19. “My hobbies include:
- Mmm blood. Num num nummies!
- I tend to attack in zig zag patterns and in threes. I’m a little quirky-pants!
- Loungin’”
20. “Are you angry? You seem angry.”
21. “You know what? You’ve really been through it. I’m gonna ease up a bit, grant you some measured indications of progress…”
22. “…just kidding! Dormancy, motherfucker!”
23. “Allegedly, Diatomaceous Earth worked for your neighbour*, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for us. OMG are we an “us” now? I just called us an “us”! But you already knew that. Wink! *Also, it didn’t. They lied. They have me too.”
24. “Remember when you used to have guests over? Where are your friends?”
25. “Is laundry your new family? You’re really invested in it.”
26. “I’ve never seen someone hurl grace out the window, and balance exhausted defeat with unwarranted resolve. It’s a little intimidating, to be honest.”
27. “You may have surmounted me this time, but don’t ever forget: I made you who you are.”
28. “I know you will remember me:
- Every time you start to feel relaxed
- Every time you shudder hyper-vigilantly past someone else’s old furniture sitting on a curb.
- Literally every time you have an itch.”
ANSWER KEY:
1–28: Bed bugs said everything. Everything is bed bugs. That said, think of bed bugs as the courier pigeons of everything you haven’t faced in yourself but can’t hide from anymore, so, good luck with your life! Nitey-nite! (This Answer Key is also a quote from a bed bug.)
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Jarastyle – #Unprocessed #Trauma #Bed #Bugs #Ashley #Seaman #Jun
Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/who-said-it-unprocessed-trauma-or-bed-bugs-237a1c47032b?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4