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Yes, they are all the same mild store brand salsa.
Photo by Tai’s Captures on Unsplash
This dinner party is a chance to share in a special bounty accumulated by my attentive family.
You are about to enjoy your own pre-opened jar of salsa.
No, I don’t know when each jar was opened, nor do I know who opened it. It may have been the first one of these opened, it may have been the last. All I know is that week after week, I bought a new jar of salsa, thinking there was only half a vessel in the refrigerator. But apparently my family just continued to pop these babies open and push them to the back of the fridge with no consideration of the readily available salsa.
I am sure all nine of these are still safe to consume.
Only one of these jars had its cover askew. That one is right here if you prefer your salsa with a bit of crust.
I considered combining all the open salsas into a large bowl, but you’ll notice some are more watery, and some are chunkier. Yes, they are all the same mild store brand salsa, but now they are customized by whomever won’t admit to opening them.
I am sure no one double dipped.
A few seem to be discolored, but if you give them a deep sniff, you’ll get the intended aroma of reconstituted onion and pepper pieces. There is no visible tinge of decay.
This one looks like someone picked all the onions out. Doesn’t that sound especially good?
I do have some cheese to top off the salsa I offer you this evening. Since every good dinner party has a theme, I have six bags of identical shredded cheddar, all open. Again, they are all the same store brand, and none of them are visibly moldy.
I am sure no one put their damp hands directly into the bag to retrieve their desired portion of cheese.
This pouch of fromage seems to have melded into a cheese chunk. That would be a delicious pairing with the watery salsa selection. The tomato juices could perhaps permeate the glob into its original shredded state?
I will open a few bags of new chips to get this shared salsa celebration started. I would only serve crunchy, fresh chips to my guests.
I am very sure that stale tortilla chips are gross.
Stacey Curran was a reporter, a middle school teacher, a camp counselor, a video store clerk, a bartender, and she folded sweaters at The Limited. Now she works in higher ed. Her writing has appeared in The Boston Globe Magazine, Slackjaw, Boston Accent, on Shaun Cassidy’s Facebook page via WBUR’s Cognescenti, and in many declined Submittable files. Follow her on Twitter @curranslc
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Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/tonights-dinner-party-menu-your-choice-of-nine-open-jars-of-salsa-6db38daddf5f?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4