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Do you really want to be one of those fancy showoffs who have teeth?
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Thank you for calling the Medicare hotline to inquire about your coverage. Apologies for the disclaimers I must use during our conversation. We are sorry to hear (not covered) that you are experiencing the painful deterioration of your teeth (not covered) that is nearly universal as people age. I’m not trying to point fingers (covered) here, but if you had just used your eyes (sometimes covered) to read your plan, you would have seen that testicles (covered) are considered an essential part of your body deserving of medical care, including replacement with an implant when lost, but teeth (not covered) are not.
Sure oral health (not covered) is largely determined by genetics, is affected by a number of chronic health conditions (sometimes covered, if you can get a diagnosis), and is integral to protecting your cardiovascular (covered) and gastrointestinal (covered, if they believe you) health, but that doesn’t mean it should be covered by Medicare. Now, if you lose your testicle (covered), we will replace it with a non-functional implant, as we understand this to be a medical necessity due to the social and psychological distress it may cause. In contrast we consider teeth (not covered) to be a frivolous luxury, much like vision (not covered), hearing (not covered), and being a woman (decreasingly covered).
Think about it — do you really want to be one of those fancy showoffs who have teeth (not covered), wearing a monocle (not covered) atop your polo horse as you gratuitously sip martinis and chew canapes? Just because eating is the primary way humans consume the necessary nutrition to keep the human body functioning doesn’t mean you need to do it. Since when has eating a varied diet that includes foods like fruits, vegetables, nuts, and protein — pretty much all things you need teeth (not covered) to eat — ever been recommended to maintain health?
My apologies — the volume of your voice is increasing but I am having some trouble understanding what you are saying, probably because teeth (not covered) are also essential for talking, due to the progressive jawbone and muscle atrophy that occurs without them. Seriously, these calls I get from people experiencing mandibular bone loss (not covered) — they’re like pulling teeth (not covered)! Sorry, just a little attempt to help you turn that frown upside down, but that probably wouldn’t help much given that you are slowly losing the ability to smile and make other facial expressions important for human communication, due to the aforementioned atrophy.
So you don’t get all bent out of shape (sometimes covered) about this situation I want to let you know that you’re not, to use some healthcare industry jargon, totally fucked (covered, if you’re a man). Some simple DIY solutions include: buying dental insurance (not insurance) and then participating in a twenty-four month waiting period so you can get 20% off $20,000 dentures (not covered) that you needed at least twenty-four months ago, taking out a reverse mortgage (not a mortgage) so you can risk losing your house in addition to your teeth (not covered), or murdering your closest genetic relative, stealing their teeth, and using Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey as anesthesia (not covered) to implant them into your own mouth.
I hope this call has been eye (not covered) opening. As you sort through these great options for dental care (not covered), take your time to decide which path to financial ruin is best for you. In the meantime, maybe give one of those prosthetic testicles (covered) a try, on us! As my grandma always said, “you’ll never know if you can eat with your balls (covered) unless you try.” Just kidding, she didn’t say that. Or maybe she did — she didn’t have any teeth (not covered) so no one could really understand what she was saying.
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Jarastyle – #Medicare #Hotline #Compares #Dental #Testicular #Coverage #Meg #Reid #Jun
Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-medicare-hotline-compares-your-dental-and-testicular-coverage-ca6d1cc2e10e?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4