Open Letter to the Ghost “Ghost Flushing” My Toilet | by Viktoria Shulevich | Jan, 2024 – Jarastyle

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Do you have any idea how difficult it is to schedule a plumber in the living world?

Viktoria ShulevichThe Belladonna Comedy

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels

Dear Toilet Ghost,

You’ve been randomly flushing my toilet for weeks now, and I’m begging you to stop. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to schedule a plumber in the living world? It’s easier to get an exorcist.

When my toilet suddenly started flushing on its own in the middle of the night, I got duly concerned and called Plumber John. He diagnosed it as a “ghost flush” and assured me that this wasn’t an actual haunting but a plumbing issue that wastes 200 gallons of water a day and could lead to flooding. Swiftly, I put away my Ouija board and scheduled him to come in.

Then I went to bed, and you went to flush. And that became our routine. Every night. Like clockwork. I couldn’t wait for Plumber John to get here and flush you (in two to four-ish weeks).

Finally, the day of reckoning arrived. Plumber John said he would be here at 7 a.m. By 8, there was no sign of him. I texted him. He said he was delayed and would come at 9. He didn’t. I texted him. He said he was stuck at another job and would come at 10. He didn’t. I texted him. He said he was almost done and would definitely be here by 12. He wasn’t. I texted him. He said he was driving and would arrive by 1 for sure. He didn’t. I texted him. He said he got a flat tire and swore he would come the next day. But he didn’t. Or the next. Or the day after that.

Then he stopped returning my calls altogether and vanished.

Terrified of the pending water bill, I decided to DIY the issue and watched an instructional video. Then, I channeled my inner plumber, put on my best plaid shirt, jiggled a few things, and banged on a pipe. Turns out one video does not a plumber make.

My attempt seemed to anger you because you were especially active that night. Come clean: did you invite other ghosts and have a flushing party at my expense? It seemed like a real rager.

The next day, I combed through all the plumbers on Angie’s List. I called Plumber Harry. He didn’t answer. I called Plumber Rick. He didn’t answer. I called Plumber Joe. He didn’t answer. I…

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Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/open-letter-to-the-ghost-ghost-flushing-my-toilet-bc4c0c42f3dc?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4

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