Mean Girls (2004) If the Status Symbol Was Stanley Water Tumblers | by Carrie Pinkard | Jan, 2024 – Jarastyle

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On Wednesdays, we drink from pink Stanleys.

Carrie PinkardThe Belladonna Comedy

Cady is at her locker sipping from a plastic Aquafina water bottle when Regina pops up behind her.

“Oh my god, I love your water bottle, where did you get it?” Regina asks, not breaking eye contact as she takes a 19-second sip from her Stanley tumbler straw.

“My mom bought it for me… from Walgreens,” Cady replies.

“It’s adorable, and so great for the planet,” Regina smiles, eyes ablaze.

Cady is sitting at the lunch table across from Regina, Gretchen, and Karen. They’re all drinking from a different colored Stanley tumbler and not eating anything.

The group invites Cady to sit with them for the rest of the week.

“On Wednesdays, we drink from pink Stanleys,” Karen says, pulling out a Winter Pink Stanley from her backpack. “Regina made her mom camp out at Target for five days just to get us these.”

Regina is guzzling a dark pink liquid from her Stanley tumbler. She tells the group she’s on a fat flush and only drinking cranberry juice for 72 hours.

“That’s not even cranberry juice, it’s cranberry juice cocktail. It’s all sugar,” Aaron Samuels tells her.

“I want to lose three pounds,” Regina shrugs. “Plus this cup holds 64 ounces, did you know?” Regina’s voice gets louder so the whole cafeteria can hear her. “And it’s made of recycled stainless steel with double-wall vacuum insulation. My juice has stayed cold all morning.”

Regina grins at jealous onlookers with cranberry juice-stained teeth.

Regina posts the pages of the Burn Book all over school. Many of the pages insult girls for their off-brand, “broke AF” water bottles. One girl is accused of making out with her Stanley, but she swears it was just “one time.”

The Junior girls break out into a wild fight, but this time, they’re armed with their heavy Stanley tumblers. Blood splatters all over the lockers. Ms. Norbury dies.

Regina and Cady are arguing outside at school when Regina drops her Stanley tumbler. It rolls into the street. Regina shrieks and runs to pick…


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