It’s Way Too Hot; I Promise I’ll Never Complain About The Cold Ever Again | by Emily Kling | Aug, 2023 – Jarastyle

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I’m a #WinterPerson from here on out.

Emily KlingThe Belladonna Comedy

Photo by Kostiantyn Li on Unsplash

Have you seen the forecast? It’s way too hot! Every time I step outside, I get sweaty and sticky and end up smelling like rotten dumpster fish. Contrary to whatever I’ve said in winter, I’d take the freezing cold over this any day.

No really, I mean it. After this blistering summer, you’ll never hear me complain about winter again.

Look here, I have this perpetual sunburn despite slathering 100 SPF on my body every single morning. And all this sunscreen is making me break out. I’d so much rather have dry, cracking, chilly skin. I won’t say otherwise once the weather turns. Not a peep out of me about my peeling face or frostbitten fingers or those gross, floral scented lotions that I rub all over my body every night before bed.

I’m so uncomfortable wearing swimsuits. I tried to go shopping for a new one, but everything was either teeny tiny or fit like an architectural stomach trap. I wish I could be in a cozy sweater right now. Sure, I can’t stand lugging around a giant winter coat and yes, historically I’ve been known to say, “God forbid there was somewhere to put our coats!” whenever I get inside and there isn’t a clear, designated coat depository. But the sweaters! I wish it were winter tomorrow.

My kids keep begging me to take them to the water park, but swimming in a pool full of chemicals, dead skin, and adolescent pee is pure hell. I’d much rather go sledding. Even though it takes over an hour to get everyone suited up before I’m literally and mentally frozen in constant fear that my kids will collide face first into a tree, you won’t hear any annoyance from me about sledding come January.

There’s just so much pressure to do things this time of year. My social media feed is filled with photos of beach parties, BBQs, and child-free weekend getaways. It’s exhausting trying to keep up! Remember when nobody wanted to do anything because it was too frigid? I know I hated being snowed in for two whole days and even Tweeted, “summer, where are you!?!”, but being isolated sounds pretty good right about now.

I’m serious. You’ll never see me Tweet, “summer, where are you!?!” again.


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