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My destructive dong has a long history of being dodgy with the details.
Photo by Pixabay, edited by author
Folks, a few last housekeeping items before we get started ticketing the shit out of our neighbors. First, we need to appoint a Board Secretary. I’d do this super important note-taking job myself, but I can’t. My dick is just too big.
It kills me that I can’t fill this critical position for our community. But everyone knows my destructive dong has a long history of being dodgy with the details. Remember last year’s audit? I was so distracted by my wayward wang’s awkward hang that I accidentally sent our CPA my divorce settlement agreement instead of the Association’s maintenance records. She really busted my nuts finding all that money I was trying to hide from my ex.
And it doesn’t help that my notorious knob also has a tendency to pop up and commandeer the keyboard. Last week at work, I was thinking about getting a new pet to keep me company, so I googled “pussy cat.” Damn if my perfidious prick didn’t use his extra inches to slam the backspace key and get me in a heap of trouble with Dippin’ Dots HR.
Johnson, Willy, O’Toole, you guys get it. I’ve seen you in the sauna. You wouldn’t last 10 minutes as Secretary without your massive members mucking up the agenda.
So what’re we gonna do here? All us guys have got colossal cocks, and you just can’t have an oversized organ in the Secretary’s chair. It’s dangerous. You’ve seen the sex tape I accidentally sent to the entire Association listserv. My stupendous snake absolutely shreds in the sheets. Can you imagine what he’d do to our financial records? We’d be headed straight to Enron-city.
As a last resort, I say we make Lisa our Board Secretary. Not because she’s the only woman on the Board, but because everyone knows tiny tacos are team players. Except my ex. Watch the tape, you’ll see.
Now Lisa, don’t get emotional. It’s just business, babe. I can’t help it if my wonton willy can’t take minutes. Think of it as a disability. You can’t imagine how hard it is to go through life with a fearsome four-inch joystick jerking you around.
Now, on to selecting a Board President. I think this would be the perfect position for me and my powerful peter. I humbly volunteer.
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Jarastyle – #Secretary #HOA #Huge #Dick #Laura #Skopec #Jun
Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/i-cant-be-secretary-of-this-hoa-because-i-have-a-huge-dick-55804508c79?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4