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By Rochelle E. Fisher with Illustrations by Marissa Maciel
Illustration by Marissa Maciel
Congratulations!
You gave birth yesterday.
Now your insurance has ended
This hospital stay!
You have bricks in your head.
You have brains in your shoes.
Now please find yourself
Any other bed you choose.
You’re on your own. Do you know what you know?
And YOU are entrusted with this tiny life–oh no!
OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way to the pediatrician!
You won’t be seeing any sort of gym!
You’ll join the mommy club
Not the gals for a gin!
You’ll be lagging behind, your lady parts will be sore.
You’ll think you’re done nursing, but soon he’ll want more.
Wherever you go, you’ll have to stop for a change.
Whenever you drive, you’ll have a crying exchange.
Doesn’t matter if…
You chose the name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
Or Viserys, Dahmer, or the ever-popular Wednesday.
You’re off to nowhere!
What day is today?
Your newborn is waiting.
So… there’s no time to play!
Illustration by Marissa Maciel
You’ll hike from the bassinet to the baby swing,
To the bouncer and then that new rocker thing.
NO? THAT DOESN’T QUIET YOUR CHILD?!?
Ok, let’s try other bright places
With mobiles and baubles and
Safe enclosed spaces.
Time to put him where he can’t escape —
OH! DEAR MOMMY NEEDS A BIG, GIANT BREAK!
You can get all hung up
With all the new baby merch.
But without the pacifier,
You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch
And enter a Slump.
It’s normal they say to encounter a hump
When all you can think of is Pump. Pump. Pump.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
When you’re deep diving into all this newborn fun.
Illustration by Marissa Maciel
OH! THE PHASES BEFORE THEY GROW!
You can get so confused
About pee in your face
How doody escapes diapers,
At break-necking pace.
I’m sorry to say so
But, sadly, it’s true
That Blow-ups
And Blow-outs
Will happen to you.
Oh, the places you won’t go! There’s fun to be missed!
The mall? The movies? Where’s all the jolly, golly bliss?
And where, if you go, does one find a clean changing location?
Please, oh no! Not THAT Koala Kare station.
It’s tough in crowded and louded spaces.
Some people with sneezes. Others with wheezes.
A place you can catch both COVID and flu!
Do you dare go in with a baby? Do you? Do you?
Illustration by Marissa Maciel
Well, now you’re in a brand new place…
THE WAITING PLACE….
…For parents just waiting.
Waiting for the newborn weeks to go
Or shots to come, vaccines to go.
Relax with a glass of all-perfect Merlot?
Pump and dump? Oh, hell no!
Oops, you blinked
Today is your day!
Back to Work Places!
So get on your way!
Your maternity leave is ending.
No time to play.
You had max 12 weeks,
Now, up, up, and away!
MOM, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS FOR A GOOD DAYCARE!
Illustration by Marissa Maciel
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Jarastyle – #Seusss #Places #Youll #Newborn #Rochelle #Fisher
Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/dr-seusss-oh-the-places-you-ll-go-with-a-newborn-75c05ea685c2?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4