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Do I have small bloody holes where hair used to be? Maybe.
Photo by Edz Norton on Unsplash
5:45 am: Look in the mirror and realize with alarm there may be a gray eyebrow above my left eye.
5:46 am: Turn on all light sources, open all curtains and blinds. Use phone flashlight to make sure it is a gray eyebrow, not a slightly lighter hued brow that may have been adorably lightened by the sun.
5:47 am: Confirm it is real.
5:50 am-6:00 am: Deny its existence.
6:00 am: Is it heftier, longer, and coarser than any other eyebrow ever in the existence of a human face? I think so.
6:01 am: Decisively remove it.
7:00 am: Ponder: Gray strands upon my head I’ve long accepted, but I never considered gray eyebrows. How many ways can my aging vessel lurch without warning? Is it over my right eye now?
7:30 am: There can’t possibly be another one on the whole other side of my face.
7:31–7:45 am: Deny its existence.
8:00 am: Is it hitting my glasses somehow and making a crunching sound? Can that happen?
8:30 am: Go outside and take a forehead only selfie.
8:31 am: Zoom in on eyebrows, examine them closely, and ascertain that several meet the gray criteria.
8:32 pm- 12:00 pm: Deny their existence.
12:30 pm: Turn on all the harsh bathroom lighting and furiously rip out any brow that looks remotely gray, and be completely unconcerned by accuracy and brow shape.
1:01 pm: Notice that I have eagerly over plucked. Test out eyebrow pencil to see if it works and fills in the deforested area I just created north of my eyes.
1:20 pm: It does not. Wipe what looks like a child’s crayon drawing of a worm off my remaining brows. Wonder if there are any Halloween stores still open in March where I could buy wide enough sticky brows to cut up and strategically place into the bare skin spots, because there is no cosmetic product on the market that can fix this mess. Decide against this move, because that will make me look like a muppet.
1:45 pm: Use a brow brush to do a comb over the bald spots, and dot a little hair spray on to prevent any movement of the strategically placed strands, a style I’ve seen atop the heads of many a man.
2:00 pm: Realize that men like George Clooney, Pierce Brosnan, Patrick Dempsey and of course, Santa Claus, are universally loved and admired for their grayness, and that I have allowed myself to be influenced by outdated beauty standards.
3:01 pm-8:01 pm: Text a few friends pics of what I did to my eyebrows to elicit laughter. Get sympathetic texts back, when I was looking for funny banter and now I have to explain that I am fine and it is funny. FUNNY!
8:45 pm: Google to determine if ’90s skinny brows are really, truly coming back in vogue, hoping to prove that I may actually be in style. Note instead that models have been bleaching their brows for at least six months to almost an almost gray-like hue.
9:10 pm: Vow to accept the brow stragglers I have left, as well as whatever sprouts from my face follicles in the future.
9:30 pm: Go to sleep with ice packs on my head.
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Jarastyle – #Daily #Itinerary #Lady #Discovering #Gray #Eyebrows #Stacey #Curran #Apr
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