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I hear my name being screamed from the top of the stairs. Hulu is not working.
Photo: Pexels — Scott Webb
6:30 a.m.: My alarm goes off (the second one of the morning) and I look around the mostly dark basement. Light is bleeding down the stairs from all the lights left on in the kitchen by my parents who have been up since 4 for some reason.
6:45 a.m.: I get out of bed after I come across a video on TikTok of a 22-year-old going through her morning routine in her one-bedroom Los Angeles apartment. She lives alone. She drinks hot lemon water, does yoga, and makes avocado toast before heading to work. What is a consultant exactly? Why can I not consult on things? I have a master’s degree.
7:08 a.m.: I stand in my makeshift closet trying to determine what to wear into the office. Even though it’s spring and the weather is turning, our building’s temperature is perpetually set to arctic. I’d be warmer in sweatpants at working from home but alas I’m considered “critical.” In corporate lingo “critical” means five days in the office even though I just print out papers and check excel sheets. I opt for khaki joggers and a crewneck sweatshirt but not the blazer Mom insisted I buy when I got this job.
7:27 a.m.: Mom asks me to run down the street to buy her cigarettes even though I need to be out the door on my way to work by 7:30. “It won’t take long.” She also asks me if I combed my hair.
7:39 a.m.: The old man in front of me at the store can’t understand why the cashier can’t break a hundred-dollar bill at 7:30 in the morning. I use Mom’s card to get myself a protein bar, two bottles of Gatorade, and an energy drink for later. She owes me for this last minute errand.
7:45 a.m.: I’m finally on my way to the office and I get stuck at a red light.
7:47 a.m.: I get stuck at another red light.
7:53 a.m.: Are you serious?!
8:12 a.m.-4:32 p.m.: I don’t consult on anything except trying to figure out why Hulu is not working, a fact Mom has let me know via text. Once I’m done with my tasks for the day (at 1 p.m.) I walk around a different floor with a cup of coffee and a notebook giving off an air of importance and definitely not one of someone who is making a few bucks above minimum wage. I go into an empty room to write in my notebook until someone comes and asks me what I’m doing in there. They have the room reserved. I get a text: Hulu is working again.
4:50 p.m.: I go to the company gym. I swipe on dating apps while I walk on the treadmill. One girl says a deal breaker for her is “living at home with Mom and Dad.” I swipe left as Mom texts me “Meatloaf for dinner.”
6:30 p.m.: I get back to my car and order Taco Bell for pickup even though I should be saving money. But let’s be real, is saving $9 by not getting Taco Bell gonna make or break my ability to move out?
6:50 p.m.: The worker in the drive thru recognizes me and I realize it’s time to buckle down on my spending.
7:13 p.m.: I sneak into the basement clutching my bag of Taco Bell like a feral raccoon trying to avoid detection. It does not work.
8:00 p.m.: I hear my name being screamed from the top of the stairs. Hulu is not working.
10:30 p.m.: I go to bed and just as I’m about to fall asleep I hear footsteps walking to the kitchen and all the lights come on while the fridge dispenses water. The lights don’t turn off.
11:00 p.m.: I go upstairs to turn the lights off but Mom is still in the living room watching Hulu.
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Jarastyle – #Daily #Itinerary #Year #Lives #Home #M.M #Frostic
Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/daily-itinerary-of-a-30-year-old-who-lives-at-home-15b0a2433470?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4