Congrats! Your Reimbursement is Pending Approval! | by Cassidy McDonnell | Jan, 2024 – Jarastyle

Categories

Share


Allowing you to personally pay for your travel is one of our Company’s most popular perks!

Cassidy McDonnellThe Belladonna ComedyPhoto by August de Richelieu on Pexels

Hey there rockstar employee,

Great news! Remember last quarter when you flew across the country at the last minute to visit that Very Important Customer? I don’t recall the exact date, but I know it was the same week as your son’s first day of kindergarten and your Meemaw’s 100th birthday party (I know these things because I am a boss that listens to my employees and I remember you sharing these factoids).

Well, I’m reaching out today to confirm that we have indeed received the receipts you submitted throughout your trip and we will be reviewing them for approval within the next 3–55 business days.

Heather from HR shared your complaint that this unexpected expense caused you to be late on your credit card payment last month. A little dramatic, don’t you think? How much does a last minute flight from Tucson (to Vegas to Chicago) to Buffalo, two nights in a Motel 6, all of your meals, a 2007 Kia Soul from Thrifty car rentals, and a dinner at Benihana with twelve executives from our Customer really put you back? Allowing you to personally pay for your travel is one of our Company’s most popular perks: think of all the credit card points you’re collecting! Last time I checked, that unlimited PTO you keep suggesting doesn’t provide 2% cash back on all dining and travel purchases. Cha-cha-cha-ching!

As you know, these Benihana Bangers are an incredibly important aspect of our corporate strategy. Nothing highlights our product’s impact on Q2 ROI like sharing a table with a middle aged white couple out for a “spicy date night.”​ And who could possibly turn down a multi-year renewal deal while a classically-trained hibachi master named Kyle tosses burning shrimp into their mouth and performs his trademark Salt and Pepper Shaker Samba to Sean Kingston’s 2009 smash hit “Fire Burning?”

You will receive a confirmation once your receipts have been thoroughly studied, scrutinized, and subjected to an intricate series of carbon tests to determine that your purchases do not include any unnecessary expenses such as alcoholic beverages*, sushi samplers, or take home containers of Benihana Original Yum Yum Sauce. None of these frivolities are subject to reimbursement.

*Note: Per our company policy, employees are entitled to up to one (1) Blue Ocean Punch Bowl per Banger as long as said beverage was shared with a member of the Customer’s Executive Board. To qualify, a handwritten note from the mixologist on duty at the time of purchase and a JPEG file of the “Your Benihana Moment” image displaying the two of you sipping from the bowl while staring intimately into one another’s eyes must accompany the submitted receipt.

Thank you for your submission and please clear your calendar (and your credit line) for next Tuesday through Sunday; we have a potential prospect in Poughkeepsie and we heard they love Hibachi.

Yours Truly,

Management

P.S. Frank from Finance has just informed me that all credit card points obtained from travel purchases are technically property of the Company and will be deducted from your reimbursement accordingly. Cheers!



Source link
Jarastyle – #Congrats #Reimbursement #Pending #Approval #Cassidy #McDonnell #Jan
Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/congrats-your-reimbursement-is-pending-approval-cef613791d20?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4

Share