At Our Store, A Dress Can Be Anything It Wants To Be, Even A “Jen’s Pirate Booty Elixir Grand Kaftan” | by Lily Hirsch | Jan, 2024 – Jarastyle

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Be more by using more words!!!

Lily HirschThe Belladonna ComedyPhoto by Deconovo on Unsplash

At our store, we would never settle for a single word, like dress, when there could be six much more confusing words, like “Jen’s Pirate Booty Elixir Grand Kaftan.”

By demanding more of our product names, we honor our products. A dress can be anything it wants to be, even a “Silk Silver Moon Whiskey One-Shoulder Slip Dress” or a “Willoughby Takis Flavor Town Magic Gown.”

But it can’t be a “dress,” because that would be boring AF.

We would also never settle for a single letter. Unless it’s a painted cup with an initial on it or a “Monogrammed Wavy Lays Fantasy Journal.” No one should ever have to say stuff like “I bought ‘P,’ formerly known as a ‘Patchwork Beef Jerky Bench Cushion,’ or ‘X,’ formerly known as something worth having.”

Our products deserve more because they themselves are more. We have towel racks with peacock heads on them, curtain tie-backs that also have peacock heads on them, and doorknobs with, you guessed it, peacock heads on them.

But we also sell a statue of a puppy on its hind legs happily offering toilet paper to you while you sit on the toilet. Sure, we could sell a regular toilet paper holder but you can’t look at that and wonder “Why, just why.” Also, we couldn’t sell that for 120 actual dollars plus the cost of our exclusive “Delightful Dachshund Patterned Poop Paper.”

Our range of offerings is special, too — from high-top sandals and mineral-infused wall clocks to tiled platters and ornaments adorned with something called a “travel poodle.” Of course, we don’t sell snacks because food is for people who can’t pull off clingy satin or side cut-outs.

These special products and special names lift up our customers. They can do and be anything, too. They might have once been a person who buys a “dress” for 20 dollars. But they can become a person who buys an “Annabella Embroidered Dorito Day Shift” for 378 dollars.

They can also become a person who sees the world as we do. Everyday rocks will turn into “Mystical Meatball Geo-Friends” and trees will transform into “Emerald Fiesta…



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