An AI Generated Daily Itinerary of an ’80s Human Teen | by Stacey Curran | Jun, 2023 – Jarastyle

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Some Kind of Pretty Candles at Breakfast, Better Off to Buy Me Love

Stacey CurranThe Belladonna ComedyPhoto by Eric Nopanen on Unsplash

6:30 am: It is like totally early. I am Frankie. I use hair spray before school. I paint my eyelashes with a small tube of blue paint. I wear thrift shop clothes, even though no other pupils at my school do.

7:00 am: I am on the bus with dweebs. Seat people throw things. The exchange student is also alone, and has a face with a sad look.

7:15 am: I am pumped my BFF Melissa got on this bus. She wears jeans washed in acid and her shirt is too big for her shoulder.

7:30 am: We are off the bus now. We are not cool. We try to be in a cool clique but nerd boys like us. I say to Melissa that cheerleaders are mean. Handsome football player boy is going to football college and he will never know my name. I am sad.

8:30 am: My teacher is yelling my name, Frankie, because I am looking out the window dreaming about football college boy. She is mad and says she will call my parental units. I only have a father. Now I am sad again.

9:00 am: In chemistry laboratory I want to be pairs with Melissa but the teacher is not rad. I am with my grody neighbor boy.

9:45 am: The cheerleader sees me look at her football boyfriend and knocks my books on the floor. A goober yells: “Smooth move, ex lax!” and so I rush my feet to the lavatory and cry with my eyes.

10:15 am: Neighbor boy tells me cheerleader is rude, and I should forget football college boy. I tell him to think his own business.

11:00 am: Melissa is talking to neighbor boy near her locker, twirling her spiral permanent hair. This is not tubular. My neighbor boy suddenly looks bitchin’. How before have I not seen this boy in a cute way?

11:45 am: Melissa tells my neighbor boy to sit at our table. I hit her with my paw and ask her what is her malfunction? He is my neighbor boy and I like him now.

11:46 am: A geek starts a food fight. Neighbor boy hits the cheerleader with food not on purpose. Football college boy is mad, and runs at him. Football boy slips in food, and a poindexter yells: “Smooth move ex lax!” The football players are all angry together. The mean cheerleader tells them to leave my neighbor boy alone.

12:00 pm: My neighbor boy sits with the cool clique I wish I sat with. They all ski together, after football. I wish I could ski.

12:15 pm: At my locker I say that my day cannot get worse. Then a dork is hiding, and asks me about the prom in two days. He says “So you have a date?” I do not. I am angry feeling. I hard close the locker and tell him to gag on a spoon.

12:30 pm: Because I cry from my eyes again in the lavatory, a teacher is mad. She gives me Saturday detention. I am scared of the drug smoker boy who is always there on Saturdays. My day is worse.

1:30 pm: Melissa makes a note and asks a desk student to pass it to me. He is sleeping. The paper note falls. The teacher takes it in his fingers and reads it aloud. Melissa turns her face red. I do too because she asked why I care about neighbor boy instead of football college player? Who is more rad to me? Students laugh totally hard. We both cry from our eyes.

2:00 pm: I walk to the bus and neighbor boy follows me. Melissa comes too. We are all mad. Neighbor boy tells me cheerleader asked him to the prom. I move my feet fast away, with crying eyes. I miss the bus.

3:00 pm: I walk home in my shoes. Neighbor boy and Melissa are there. He gives me flowers. He says prom will be awesome with him if I go. Melissa says she saw the dork at my locker and he is like cute in his face. She will go to the prom with him. This is tubular. We ride on neighbor boy’s lawnmower. We listen to a song and it tells us to walk on sunshine!

3:30 pm: This is ending, but if you take a chill pill, you can watch neighbor boy getting Z Cavareccis from Chess King to match his tuxedo jacket, and a string tie because fashion. Melissa and I dance at a mall store, while we try on prom dresses. We are pretty in pink ones so we both get that. Now this is the end. Ferris Wheel says totally go home. Like really, for sure.

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Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/an-ai-generated-daily-itinerary-of-an-80s-human-teen-236a986b437?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4

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