A Manly Man’s Guide to Figuring Out if this Fandom is for You | by Kelly Molloy Sater | Feb, 2024 – Jarastyle

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If you’re feeling confused here is a helpful guide in deciding if something is for you, a manly man, or not.

Kelly Molloy SaterThe Belladonna Comedy

With the onslaught of different fandoms these days, how can you, a strong, masculine man, avoid accidentally falling into one of those soft, girly fandoms that smell like lavender? If you’re feeling confused here is a helpful guide in deciding if something is for you, a manly man, or not.

Is this thing you stumbled upon considered a “fandom” or a “franchise”?

Franchise sounds financial and more businesslike which is clearly for men. They also have strong names like “army,” “nation,” or “Dick’s Sporting Good Membership” which evoke leadership — and you’re a leader. Whereas “fandom” sounds more casual, obviously for the ladies. Fandom also could sound like kingdom- where princesses are. Be sure to look for those context clues.

Are the followers considered fans or fanatics?

You and your bros getting blackout drunk and tearing down goalposts is just an example of some fans celebrating a win. But you’re not fanatical like those crazed women who know every word to popular songs — that’s hysteria. If you find yourself singing “I’m drunk in the back of the car .. “ make sure to flub a line or two so people know you just heard it on the radio one time.

Do they “cry” or “yell” when excited?

When a man yells at a T.V. or a missed play he’s just “into the game.” It’s asserting the fact that were he on the field, he would do better — which every man knows is true. But when a woman yells for her idol it’s obviously a shrill cry — an outburst of her rampant emotions — you don’t want to be associated with that!

Do you have gear or costumes?

Do you wear your favorite player’s number? That’s gear — which is manly. Soldiers wear gear, they’re prepared for anything. Wear your $175 gear proudly to family gatherings, the movies, and restaurants — it’s an investment in the franchise! But wearing all silver to a concert is playing dress-up, like a doll.

Do you paint your face or put on make-up?

This can be really confusing but it’s mostly in the artistry. If you smear it all over your face, it’s paint. If you apply with a delicate, steady hand, that’s a skill, its makeup. Be sure to be messy like the man you are. Also stick to primary colors so no one gets it confused as contour. If you happen to be kissed by someone wearing makeup, I cannot stress this enough, you must wipe it off immediately — no one can know you have a relationship with someone who wears makeup.

Does it pump billions into the economy and break viewing records?

That’s for the ladies, obviously.

If you do find yourself enjoying something that feels like it’s for ladies, be sure to tell your friends you’re only into it because someone you know showed it to you. Just follow these helpful tips and you’ll be sure to avoid all those girly fandoms and focus on the real manly franchises, like football and the Dave Matthews Band.


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