QUIZ: Could It Be Endometriosis or Has a Dybbuk Possessed Your Uterus? | by Natalia Kaye | Apr, 2023 – Jarastyle

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Photo by Adam Flockmenn on Unsplash

“In Jewish mythology, a dybbuk, is a malicious possessing spirit believed to be the dislocated soul of a dead person.” — Wikipedia

“Dybbuk possessions — for instance, that of the woman attacked in Safed — often began with a sudden fall, often accompanied by convulsions, aches, or constant weeping….Either way, victims were young, with few cases appearing in those over 35. Women were a common target — Legutko gives the figure at 65 percent of cases…” — Tablet Magazine

  1. Are you struggling to get pregnant?

a.) It’s been really difficult and my partner and I have been trying for 2 years.

b.) The life force is sucked out of every partner I try to conceive with.

2. Are you experiencing irregular periods?

a.) Some months I don’t get my period, other months are pretty standard, and other months, I buy out the tampon supply at CVS.

b.) In months beginning with the letter “J”, there’s a growling echo that seems to come from my cervix and in even-number months, freshly baked oatmeal raisin cookies appear in my hands. I hate raisins.

3. How’s your sleep these days?

a.) Terrible. I toss and turn all night long while my body temperature goes from freezing to sweltering hot.

b.) Great! But I keep finding baby deer skeletons under my bed. Oh and once I woke up hanging upside down with the neighbor’s cat — is that weird?

4. Do you have acne flare-ups closer to when your period begins?

a.) Sometimes, mostly before my period is supposed to start, but it’s not too bad.

b.) My acne has gotten so bad that a face grows out of a pimple, eventually falling out as a new autonomous half-human/half-possum being.

5. Are you experiencing excess body or facial hair?

a.) No, not at all.

b.) I don’t even need a winter parka anymore with this fur undercoat!

6. Are there any hyper-pigmented areas of skin on your body that have recently developed?

a.) No.

b.) Yes, it’s so annoying. The area keeps changing shape — a hammer and sickle, skull and crossbones, pentagram, pitchfork, jeez, just pick one already!

7. Does your abdomen feel enlarged?

a.) Yes, and it feels a little tender.

b.) Yes, and it wants you to know they have a name — Papalormous Rex

8. Can you feel when you’re about to or are ovulating?

a.) Yes, it feels like my ovary is twisting on itself.

b.) Yes, Papalormous Rex tells me it’s a batch of baby spiders and nothing to be concerned about.

9. How’s your GI tract feeling, any symptoms of diarrhea or constipation?

a.) Yes. I’m so uncomfortable and no matter how much fiber I eat or water I drink seems to help it.

b.) Nope, Papalormous Rex likes to keep to a strict routine.

10. Tell me about your energy levels, how are they?

a.) I’m exhausted all the time. Everything hurts.

b.) Fine and dandy!

11. Ever feel nauseous or experience vomiting?

a.) Yeah….I’m trying so hard not to vomit right now.

b.) Only on mornings when I trip on a baby deer femur sticking out from under my bed.

12. Do you feel guilty? Often for no reason whatsoever?

a.) Yes — wait, no, maybe, sometimes? Ugh, I really shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling guilty.

b.) Papalormous Rex and I feel no shame.

Mostly A’s: Sounds like endometriosis, but have you tried a dairy and gluten-free diet?

Mostly B’s: Probably a Dybbuk possessing your parts, but have you tried a dairy and gluten-free diet?

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Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/quiz-could-it-be-endometriosis-or-has-a-dybbuk-possessed-your-uterus-1902bbe80f13?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4

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