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This no-fuss, linen sack dress is all about streamlined style, for when you want to give a bit of that classic “1940s sanitarium” vibe.
Photo: Pixabay
The “Congratulations Ma’am”
This flowing, breezy midi dress has an exotic, tropical island feel, and will most definitely make the construction worker on the corner congratulate you on your pregnancy. Which, based on your deep frown lines, he can only assume occurred via a miraculous medical intervention.
The “Yellow Wallpaper”
This no-fuss, linen sack dress is all about streamlined style, for when you want to give a bit of that classic “1940s sanitarium” vibe. Throw on this baby and forgo the hairbrush for an au naturel, “just rolled out of my straightjacket” look, and see how long it takes the security guard at Whole Foods to begin quietly trailing you in the bulk bins.
The “Sister Wife”
A fully floral, fully ankle-length garment, this one has that funky, devout fundamentalist, “whatever the prophet says!” feel, and has the added fun of making people do double takes when they spy you polishing off your third White Claw of the barbecue.
The “If I Sneeze You May See My Cervix”
Who says you’re too old for a flirty mini dress! Your husband? Well, what does that jerk know! This sexy, eye-catching little number is great for showing off that one big patch of hair you always miss when shaving. Lightweight and made with minimal fabric, it’s perfect for those extra warm summer outings. So long as none of those outings involve bending over.
The “Old Navy French Navy”
This striped, navy t-shirt dress should be a casual staple of every woman’s closet. Particularly if that woman wants to look like a large, sweaty barrel rolling through the terrain of her life.
The “H&M”
An easy wrap dress that is highly affordable (though highly flammable), this one not only has a universally flattering fit, it’s also the same price as two tubs of Sahadi’s hummus. It can be dressed up or down, and is perfect for both work or a backyard luau. Just don’t get too close to the Tiki torch, or that rayon polyester blend will go up like a Roman candle.
The “Ringling Brothers”
Straight from the Macy’s clearance rack, patterned in pink lemons, with an inexplicable pussy bow neck and full square dance-style skirt, this one will have people on the subway excitedly waiting for you to start juggling scarves and playing cymbals with your feet.
The “Isn’t That A Nightgown”
Uh, no. It’s totally a slip dress, guys. Or is it? You bought it at 1am after scrolling past a well-placed Instagram ad. True, it is patterned in clouds and sleeping cats. But no matter! You can wear it without a bra! And when it’s 102 degrees outside, that is all that matters to this little lady…
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Jarastyle – #Summer #Style #Perimenopausal #Johanna #Gohmann #Aug
Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/summer-style-for-the-perimenopausal-d967afacfc66?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4