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There was so much pink of a variety not common in nature.
Image by the author via Adobe Stock, the Barbie Selfie Generator, and Mattel.com
Five minutes into building the Barbie Dreamhouse, I finally understood why man despised the hard labor of toy assembly. Here I was, having built a fabulous house on Walden Pond by cutting down wood with my bare hands from tall, arrowy pines, and I couldn’t even open the box. Damn modern packaging — it was full of a thousand simple tests, all starting with cardboard, glue, and staples. Finally, I hacked it open with a borrowed ax.
The contents spilled out like vomit. There was so much pink of a variety not common in nature. These were the hues of extreme commercialism. It was a wonder to me that not even one shade matched the raw meat of a woodland squirrel.
There was no time to be wasted in the Dreamhouse-raising. There were 75 pieces of this monstrosity, all designed to destroy man’s confidence. Anger toward this Mattel company was sprouting like my field of beans. But I took a deep breath, exercised some Yankee shrewdness, and said to myself: “Henry David, keep calm and carry on with the sorting of pieces. You don’t want to assemble the whole dwelling and find you’re missing one pertinent piece of window frame.”
The instruction booklet was a useless chunk of tree waste and another example of civilization’s failures. Does a hummingbird refer to ill-formed diagrams to build a nest? Does a rabbit need constant reminders that they might be electrocuted as they dig a burrow? And a beaver–- should it have to decipher directions in English, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Chinese, and Japanese in order to place stones for a dam? Man should take cues from nature, not help hotlines.
I tossed the book into one of my out-of-control fires. Like man has done since the dawn of time, I would rely on instinct. Also, I would study the photo on the front of the box.
Let me tell you this. It was a good thing that I was alone in the woods for two years, two months, and two days. Because that’s practically the amount of time it took me to snap it all together with its nonsensical assembly system. Where was the need for nails, studs, and rafters? I had been looking forward to claiming these materials again through squatter’s rights. But everything was…
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Jarastyle – #Thoreau #Building #Barbies #Dreamhouse #Rochelle #Fisher #Jul
Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/thoreau-on-building-barbies-dreamhouse-40502549bca8?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4