90s Toy Movie Pitches That Weren’t As Compelling As Greta Gerwig’s “Barbie” | by Nicole M. Boyce | Jul, 2023 – Jarastyle

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The year is 2035 and Nerf — faced with global drought — has pivoted into arms development.

Nicole M. BoyceThe Belladonna ComedyPhoto by cottonbro studio on Pexels, edited by author.

Kitty Surprise
Genre: Family

The family cat is expecting kittens, and her owners have made a bet: if she has three kittens, they’ll stay in New York and continue their fast-paced professional lives. If she has four, they’ll move to Maine to take over their in-laws’ seaside ice cream shop. This rollicking adventure follows one family’s discovery that life sometimes gives us more — or less — than we’d bargained for.

For fans of: Beethoven, Homeward Bound

Doctor Dreadful
Genre: Fantasy/Musical

In his dark and diabolical lab, Doctor Dreadful cooks up tonics, toxins, and tunes that entice and entrap residents of the nearby village, Strangeville. But when his rival — Cal “Creepy Crawlers” Cowell — sets up shop nearby and begins wreaking havoc on Strangeville, Doctor Dreadful must cook up his greatest invention yet: a plan to save the town he secretly loves.

For fans of: Flubber, Sweeney Todd

Talkboy
Genre: Horror

After purchasing a handheld voice recorder at a garage sale, the Jenkins family is disturbed when violent messages start playing in a variety of tones and speeds. To their horror, they soon realize these messages are real recordings of events in the near future. In a race against time, the Jenkins must find a way to replace the tape…before the tape replaces them.

For fans of: Ouija, Child’s Play

Giga Pet
Genre: Sci-Fi

A dark, cerebral journey through a dystopian future where domesticated animals — viewed as a drain on the world’s increasingly scarce resources — have been replaced by government-issued digital pets. Whilst searching for his contraband and recently confiscated dog, our hero, Max, is about to discover that humans are next.

For fans of: The Matrix, Blade Runner

Cupcake Dolls
Genre: Rom-Com

Sally can’t bake…but her life’s about to get a whole lot sweeter. When her professional rival challenges her to spearhead an important charity bake sale for their non-profit organization, a desperate Sally makes a wish at an enchanted fountain. She soon discovers that her childhood dolls, long since shelved, have come to life. With help from her troupe of candy-scented pals, can Sally win a coveted promotion and find love along the way?

For fans of: Waitress, 13 Going on 30

Devil Sticks
Genre: Drama/Sports

In this gritty underdog drama, Helen, a jaded recent graduate who grew up fast, stumbles into the world of underground Devil Stick competitions. With nothing to lose and everything to prove, Helen puts it all on the line. Will she fumble the big catch? Or will she tumble her way into greatness?

For fans of: Creed, Million Dollar Baby

Super Soaker
Genre: Action/War

The year is 2035 and Nerf — faced with global drought — has pivoted into arms development. This film follows an ambitious young sales executive as he travels to the frontlines and, unexpectedly, is pulled into the heart of a high-pressure conflict.

For fans of: War Dogs, Waterworld

Glo Worm

Genre: Drama/Fantasy

An arthouse rumination on youth, time, and the light we leave behind. Described by IndieWire as “achingly atmospheric,” the film follows college student Sarah as she wanders into a hidden kingdom of fantasy and phthalates. Featuring music by Sigur Rós and Death Cab for Cutie.

For fans of: Where the Wild Things Are, Labyrinth

Doodle Bear

Genre: Family
The bear you can color, wash, and color again! Following the adventures of “Dood the Bear,” this meandering “family comedy” is mostly just a product placement for Tide.

For fans of: Castaway, The Internship

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