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Happy first day of summer, y’all!
Image by Sarah Schorer on Pexels.com
This summer I’m going to try getting into some hard-hitting and historically accurate documentaries, starting with Greta Gerwig’s Barbie. — Kristen Mulrooney
I’m planning to kick off my hot girl summer of flirty fun in the most fitting way possible, by pledging myself body and soul to just one specific man for the rest of my life. — Madeline Graham
Knitting cute ruffled bikinis for my cats and then filling my living room with sand and paper cocktail umbrellas to pose them in Instagram photoshoots. — Jessica Lillian
Spending every evening trying to figure out whether I’m seeing a beautiful sunset or the increasing obscuring of the sun by hazardous pollutants that will eventually kill us all. And searching for the perfect summer spritz, obviously. — Meg Reid
This is my hat girl summer, which is just me in various hats to block harmful sun rays. I’ll also be upping my SPF application. I’m so scared of the sun!!!! — Katy Maiolatesi
I’m gonna accomplish all my summer goals on the first day of summer so I can relax for the rest: get sunburned enough to peel, get sung by jelly fish after falling off a paddleboard, get overtaken by ants on a picnic, overdose on Benadryl after a mosquito-swarmed walk in the woods, fall asleep in a hammock immediately followed by a visit to the chiro to click my neck and back into a functional shape. Yay summer! — Viktoria Shulevich
My older kids are off to camp which means I’m headed for a relaxing summer of house arrest with a seven year old. Unless anyone can recommend a decent babysitter? Perks are decent pay and all the ice cream you can eat. By “ice cream,” I mean Play-Doh and by “all you can eat,” I’m referring to the endless times you will have to fake lick a “scoop” during pretend play. — Rochelle Elana
Going to summer camp, finding my long-lost identical twin, switching places with her, and getting my 11-years-estranged parents back together. So mostly keeping it lowkey. — Emily Kapp
I’m going on a beautiful family vacation in Italy. We’ll hit the beaches of the Almafi coast, eat gelato in Parma, and kill the witch who cursed us with disgusting bird feet in Naples. Can’t wait! — Erin Ross
I’m headed to Medocino County to see where the exterior shots of Murder She Wrote were shot and stay in Jessica Fletcher’s house. Cabot Cove here I come! (And maybe I’ll stop and see family on the way, who knows if I’ll have time though.) — Cassie Soliday
Wondering why none of my friends have accepted my invitation to relax and cool off in my kiddie pool, which, yeah, I do describe as “human soup” time… — Katherine Shaw
This year, I’m planning a Bot Girl Summer! I’ll be channeling AI by only speaking in terms I’ve scraped from Wikipedia articles. Anyone want to join me for a day at the beach — er, landform consisting of loose particles, such as sand, gravel, pebbles, or cobblestones, that extend from the shoreline into a body of water? I’ll bring the alcoholic drink made from fermented cereal grains! — Kelley Greene
I’ll be eating so much watermelon that one starts to grow inside me (or maybe that’s the baby — happy pregnant girl summer to me!) — Rachel Reyes
“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” I plan to ask climate criminals this summer. “Thou art an unrelenting wall of pure hellfire/ because of thou temperatures are neck-and-neck with inflation/ That the seats rises and orcas are angry / And the rest of us drown in sweat and high tides / Unable to escape the sticky clothes / But even as mosquitos suck our blood / Tis thou who shalt be the biggest bloodsuckers / So long as we live like this / In the shadows of yachts and private plans.” — Sauleha Kamal
I’ll be teaching my baby new tricks: sitting up, standing, sleight of hand magic. You know, the basic stuff. — Nat Hrvatin
I’ll be in my third trimester of pregnancy this June, July, and August, so I’ll be having a literal hot girl summer. Find me attempting to stay cool by any means — ice cream, cold showers, swamp coolers, ice cream, air conditioned movie theaters, ice cream, and ice cream. — Elizabeth Simone
I’m forgoing the mountains, beaches, and forests to do a staycation here in beautiful Brooklyn! As the city clears out and New Yorkers head to their country homes, I enjoy a quiet repose. Fewer cars means I can saunter, rather than dart, across the street. Shorter lines at Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods means more goodies for me. There’s less doggie poop to skirt on the sidewalks since families took Fido with them on vacation. And, smaller hordes of lotto buyers in the neighborhood bodgea translates to more $2 scratchers for me. All in all, a wonderful summer holiday in this borough of 2.5 million! — Debbie L. Miller
Going on a whirlwind European tour of cities with walking tours available to watch on YouTube. — Erica Lies
I’ll be spending my summer in my air conditioned house while wearing my cold weather clothes, staring longingly out my window until the season changes. — Emily Knapp
In my home, summer means Cricket, and by cricket I mean the climate-change insect infestations that afflict everyone without a private jet to whisk them off to Mosquitoless Isle, which I hear is somewhere in The Maldives. — Devorah Blachor
I’ll be hiding in my “cave” which is French for cellar. It’s the coolest place in the house in every sense of the word. Lower temperatures and the place everyone stocks their wine. Santé everyone! — Anna Pook
For me, summer means planting heirloom tomato seeds to nurture and care for as I neglect myself. Unshowered and unshaved, my body hair will grow into a wonderous robe that unfortunately won’t protect me from UV rays as I toil beneath the tomato vines. I’ll contract melanoma from the sun’s unwavering assault and die. RIP. — Brooke Knisley
Heading to the beach, but not in a boat, because I don’t want to piss off any orcas. — Heather Talty
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Jarastyle – #Belladonna #Writers #Share #Summer #Plans #Emily #Kapp #Jun
Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-belladonna-writers-share-their-summer-plans-3030f7426939?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4