Take Our Gay Test and Finally Rest Easy | by Jude Patenaude | Jun, 2023 – Jarastyle

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Answer honestly! Because you’re not fooling anyone.

Jude PatenaudeThe Belladonna ComedyPhoto by Anna Shvets on Pexels

  1. When your mom explained what a lesbian is — from “You know how some women have short hair?” to “Don’t worry, you’d already know if you were one” — did you scowl in disappointment?

a. Kids are weird.

b. Not very observant, is she?

2. Was it because you secretly wanted to marry your childhood best friend, Mimi?

a. That’s exaggerating.

b. Mimi, hit me up.

3. Did you once claim to be straight; you just weren’t attracted to “men’s faces?”

a. No comment.

b. Ha.

4. Did you once burn a CD titled presenting: songs for reminiscing for a senior at your all-girls high school under the pretense that you were “just friends?”

a. Who says we weren’t?

b. I was down bad.

5. Did you also spend hours custom making a poster for that same “just a friend” senior?

a. Sue me.

b. Jesus Christ.

6. Did you join the Gender and Sexuality Alliance as a “strong ally” only to later become the President?

a. Somebody had to.

b. Yeah, right.

7. Did the film Pride and Prejudice evoke emotions so powerful that you decided to become an English major?

a. I don’t see what that has to do with anything.

b. The one featuring Kiera Knightly?

8. Did the film Battle of the Sexes inspire you to take an “Am I Gay” test?

a. I got mixed results.

b. The one featuring Emma Stone?

9. Shouldn’t the fact that you took a test have been enough of an indicator?

a. Hold on —

b. Delusion knows no bounds.

10. When you told your mom you might be bisexual, was her response “Are you secretly a boy and not telling me?”

a. Unrelated.

b. That’s just funny.

11. When you told your dad you might be bisexual, was his response “I love you, but I just don’t believe you,” to which you replied, “I know I like girls,” to which he replied, “Oh, no, I believe that part?”

a. Classic Dad!

b. He clocked me.

12. Was it still embarrassing when you watched that one lesbian sex scene in Booksmart with your dad a week after you came out?

a. Obviously.

b. There just had to be anal.

13. Do you currently have a girlfriend?

a. Whoa, that’s a little forward.

b. Who would’ve thought!

14. After all that time agonizing, did you ever imagine that you would spend your nights watching Spirited Away in a twin-sized bed with the person you loved?

a. Aww.

b. Now you’re just blabbing.

Thank you for taking our test! Here are your results:

How the hell did you not see this coming?

Recommended tests:

Are You Transgender on top of Everything Else?

Do You Have Religious Trauma?

Are You Worthy of Love and Why Do You Think Otherwise?

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Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/take-our-gay-test-and-finally-rest-easy-57dad0d594b4?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4

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