Are You Looking for a Job or Using a Dating App? | by Morgan Biles | May, 2023 – Jarastyle

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Either way, you’re probably getting ghosted.

Morgan BilesThe Belladonna ComedyPhoto by Keren Levand on Unsplash

  1. At first, you found the endless scroll exciting, but now you’re realizing 90% of the options are just here as a formality.
  2. You’re stretching the truth about communication skills on your profile.
  3. The algorithm’s “most compatible” matches send you into a downward ego spiral.
  4. You shoot your shot with someone outside of your league and get ghosted.
  5. You shoot your shot with someone who’s below your league and get ghosted anyway.
  6. When it starts to look bleak you remind yourself that your sister’s best friend’s cousin found “the one” by scrolling on this same app.
  7. You keep thinking about the one that got away and wondering if you should go back, even though they never let you hang out with your friends on the weekends.
  8. The ratio of applications to in-person meet-ups is about 223:1.
  9. Where you went to college matters when you’re 22, but experience matters more by the time you’re 30.
  10. Other people keep telling you it will happen when you least expect it.
  11. These same people tell you that you need to put yourself out there more.
  12. You’re confused how you are simultaneously supposed to not expect it, but also work harder at making it happen.
  13. When a match asks you about your hobbies, you say hiking even though you really mean ‘walking around your block listening to Phoebe Bridgers.’
  14. You’ve filled out half of an application for a reality dating show out of desperation.
  15. You’re trying to figure out how to walk the fine line between “witty and original” and “creepy” in your opening message.
  16. You’ve started drinking more on Tuesday nights.
  17. You’re Googling how to find a sugar daddy.
  18. Your mom keeps telling you not to be so picky.
  19. If someone doesn’t like you, they probably won’t tell you. If they do tell you, it will be via a Chat-GPT automated message, weeks after you met.
  20. You’re not sure if sleeping with the person across the table is a good idea for your long term goals, but you might do it anyway.
  21. You’re starting to realize the scrolling is useless and your only real hope is having a friend who “knows a guy.”

Looking for a Job: 1–21

Using a Dating App: 1–21

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Courtesy : https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/are-you-looking-for-a-job-or-using-a-dating-app-5beb2b88364?source=rss—-e9e22d25fb5e—4

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